Monday, May 13, 2013

You Might Be A Redneck...

You know you live in Dayton, Washington...

Ever hear those jokes? They are lines from Jeff Foxworthy, including such gems as these:
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.. if directions to your home include "turn off the paved road"....if your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a sporting event... or if you've ever been too drunk to fish. 

Those are some of my favorites, though there are endless possibilities for such humor.  True, I've lived in a trailer way up yonder out on a dirt road that you still can't see using google maps. And true, you can make fun of rednecks all you want.

But there's this other thing.

I haven't seen my friend Israel since high school. Maybe junior year, so that's between 1989 and 1990. Luckily, I'm Facebook friends with lots of my former classmates from high school. Not the ones I didn't like. We're pretty clicquish like that. But with several of them. I just don't have time for bitchiness. But I got time for the rest of everyone else. Including Izzy, who has always been a pretty cool cat.  He works hard and he's a Dayton kid, even if he's approaching 40 just like me. Moved to Oregon a couple of years ago, I think. He's what you'd call a good man- he takes care of his family and seems like a nice person.

Yesterday, he was in Dayton for a family function.  He went by himself up past Ski Bluewood to camp for the night. Bluewood is what you'd call "out there". Not many passers-by except for a few black bears and the occasional cougar. In the morning, he tried to start his car. Nothing. Damn car battery was dead. It's 20 or more miles to town.

So he got on Facebook. Things revved up. Izzy was like "Hey! Help!"

Now, I'm not saying that Mr. Holden is a redneck. I'm not saying that I or anyone in my family is a redneck. But I have been too drunk to fish and I once used so much hairspray that I accidentally lit my hair on fire in the 90s in a little bar while leaning in too close to a guy with a zippo.  But please know that I use the word redneck in a self-describing and loving way.

This is why I like rednecks. Something like 10 people in the area offered to help. I'm in Ellensburg- 4 hours away by car just to get to Dayton. But my sisters and lots of my cousins live there. Yvette in particular always was good in a pinch. Say HELP and she's on her way, no questions asked.

I re-posted Israel's post and texted Yvette. By then, others were getting ready to send people out in serach. He posted exact coordinates. It was a race to see who could get out the door first. Yvette was faster than everyone. She left coordinates with her son, just in case she got lost and headed up. Gave him a jump and called it good.

Thing is, I'm pretty sure she hasn't seen Izzy in a good long time either. And truth be told, lots of other people would have been up there within the hour. It wasn't that big of a deal. Yvette won the race- good job!

Meanwhile, I've waited for an hour for a tow truck in rush hour traffic in the middle of a city.

We need more damn rednecks. Remember that next time you see my sister at a sporting event. And just in case, (even though I haven't smoked in years) don't ever offer me a light.

1 comment:

  1. Fun read! Sorry about the car.
    Hope it's nothing major.