The New Plan

I woke up early this morning with my brain racing. It's been doing that a lot lately, clocking overtime while the rest of me really could just use a long nap.  It's tiring to wake up at 3:30 and not be able to get back to sleep.  I have had many bouts of insomnia in my life.  I have been to grad school. Actually I think those two statements are redundant.  Anyone who goes for post-baccalaureate education loses sleep.  So does every parent in the world and everyone who has a lot on their plate dealing with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

So this particular morning, I woke up promptly at 6.  Please don't think for a moment that 6 a.m. is a time for me.  Six in the morning is a concept, not a reality and I haven't seen that time in person for a couple of years.  Unless I am still awake from all night activities, in which case it's a totally different 6 a.m. than what normal folk would experience.  Last night when I went to sleep, I wrote out a list of all the things I had to do today.  This morning, I added even more things.

I can't help it; my brain spins like a tornado.  I think I have all the corners of sleep nailed down, smoothed over and in place like a blanket.  I have done everything I could the previous day and accomplished my tasks.  Yesterday, I went through most of my house on a purging tear and threw out eight trash bags of stuff we just don't need. Lots of it will be donated, have no fear.  I also had listed some items on Craigslist and sold both my lawnmower and futon couch.  My dear, dear Charlotte came over yesterday too, to help keep me on track.  I'd hold something questionable up, some item that I may or may not need or want. She'd say "Get rid of it!!" and off it would go. One of my friends took a bunch of items off my hands and I was able to give my beautiful dining room table to a sweet family with two little girls who will love it and take care of it. I even sold my car yesterday and will be catching a bus to Tulsa this afternoon to get home.  But my brain doesn't want rest, it wants everything to be in the correct place and in the right box.  It wants all decisions made, conversations had, bills paid and floors swept.  It wants to be creative, to write and sing and dance in the shadows.  It goes into overdrive whenever I have a lot to do and little time to do it.

This week's over-scheduling is because of a text conversation I had with my sister, Patti.  I was whining about how expensive the move is going to be because we decided to use a moving company.  She asked if a Uhaul might not be a better solution.  I said no, because my husband is uncomfortable with me following him in a truck and that he was even more uncomfortable with the idea of pulling his car behind a truck.  We figured out how to keep Eleanor happy- I have dosed her with medicine from the veterinarian which keeps her sufficiently loopy and quiet for about 8 hours.  On our nightly walk, I mentioned the text conversation to him, and he decided to reconsider.

No! I had it set in my mind. We had planned a course of action.  Granted, an expensive course of action, but still.  I had everything packed and the movers would come in three days. It was set in stone.

But like many things set in stone, we decided to etch out a new course.  "It's just stuff", he said.  "We'll get more stuff".

Ok.

New plan.

Because that's what you do when you suddenly and jarringly change course. You make a plan.  You stay nimble and courageous and don't panic.  This is not the end of the world. It's just the end of life here in Oklahoma.  A life that I won't be taking with me to Washington.  It's not the original plan, but it's a good compromise. And I married a man with a great sense of equanimity, and a nimble ability to adapt

We pared down our belongings to fit them into a little 4x8 Uhaul pull-along trailer.  I will send my books by media mail and we will sell what we can.  What we can't, Cathy and Chuck will dispose of either in a garage sale or by donation.  I'm going to ship Grey's records too.  It's a good plan.  We will take four days for travel and arrive at our destination like a turtle with our tiny home on our back. Ok, make that a two-person-one-kitty turtle.  You get the idea.

I have a lot of stuff to do and little time to do it.  So my tornado, I mean my brain, woke me up. And what am I doing? Writing.  Compromise.  Writing and making a list of things to do.  Grey and I are....sort of enjoying the whole move. I certainly have a greater appreciation for him, and he has learned about my elite packing skillz.  These lead to my elite "getting rid of stuff" skillz.

I no longer have a table, couch or place to sleep for the next week.  As my Grandma used to say "They don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of."  What I do have is support, love and understanding.  Everything I need that doesn't fit into a box.

Alright brain, let's kick this into gear.