Winter Wanes

Eleanor says she's doing just fine, thanks. 

     After our return from the fabulous-ness that is London and Paris, we settled in for the new quarter. In the dead of winter, the sun doesn't rise so early- as late as 7:45 a.m. It goes down early too- 4:30. If you're not careful, it's easy to live in total darkness for about three months of the year- late October through late January. Lots of people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) for this reason. Imagine this compounded with all the rain in Seattle. We live in a relatively dry area, so the rain doesn't factor in much- but still. Beginning in October, I start reminding my students to remain active and to get some sun on their faces at least fifteen minutes a day. This ensures that their bodies will be able to make enough vitamin D and that psychologically, the smaller amount of daylight isn't as impactful as it could be. I follow that rule too. Is that my job as an English professor? No. Not technically. But I also warn them against coming to class if they are infectious with any weird (or normal) illness and to buckle up when they drive. Yes, I'm your Aunt English Professor. When you live this far north, SAD risk factors are just a fact of life. For those of you sun lovers, you should know that it stays light until 9:30-10 p.m. and the sun comes up at 4-4:30.

     I remembered pretty quickly my strategies from years ago, before I moved to Oklahoma, how to live in a dimly lit place. Judge me all you like, but I love winter and shortened daylight hours is one of the reasons. I get up early these days, between 4:30 and 6, and when I don't have to be at work before 9 a.m., I go to the gym in the mornings. If I don't get there early, I have something to look forward to in the afternoon or early evening. My days are mostly the same; meetings, teaching, answering frantic emails, and grading. Grading takes up a lot of psychic space for me. I have 77 students this quarter and each deserves time and attention. Writing is serious business and can be a huge part of their success in college. I volunteer to teach the beginning writing courses and I do enjoy it. I like knowing that because someone helped a student learn to read and write better- to more critically examine the materials presented to them- they have a better chance of graduating with a degree that means something to them. As a matter of fact, while I'm writing this, I simultaneously have a tab open to grade a homework assignment. In any case, I try to do these things in the morning while I feel energized.

     That's because once it gets dark, I lose my motivation to do...anything. My preferred evening activities are reading on the couch with G on one side and Eleanor on the other, or watching television in the same configuration.  And I'm in bed between 8 and 9. This is also why I love winter: I feel ok just resting. I'm *supposed* to hibernate. I have four favorite jammie bottoms made of soft cotton or flannel, with snowman and snowflake patterns. I just love to put them on and stay home. This is also my favorite strategy for avoiding SAD. You know, because Happy! See? Longer nights means more snuggle time.

     My annual routine for work follows the quarter system now. For the fall quarter, I'm very enthusiastic; I join committees and do research, plot out my lessons for weeks and months in advance, and make sure that I have at least one class of freshmen to welcome on their first day of college. In winter it's more of a settle in and run the race. Slow and steady. It's about routine, getting things done and meeting commitments. This is also when I work out any new materials for classes and invent something for spring quarter. Spring quarter is the hardest. Students and faculty get all squirrely. I don't blame them. March is a difficult month for me and by April with the advent of spring, everyone wants to go outside, feel the sun, go hiking and spring skiing, and relish the warmer weather.  Students mentally check out somewhere in April, and by mid-June when we wrap up, ugh, I'm ready for them to go. No new creative projects really happen for me in spring.

     I think I may be one of only two people who mourns the loss of winter. I think we had our last snow for the year last week.  All of the weather reports are in the 50s this next week. We didn't have any real accumulation this year! If I want to see real snow I have to drive up to the mountain passes. The other person who mourns is, of course, my husband. There's something exciting to waking up to a heavy blanket of snow, or a blizzard, and having to bundle up to go outside. Since we both walk to work, we get to tromp through small drifts and place our feet carefully lest we slip on a patch of wayward ice. This is also how I get my sunlight time every day. G works earlier than I do; he has to be in by 8.  When the sun is sleeping in and going to bed early, he risks never seeing it. So he sits and has lunch by a big picture window where I often join him. It's also a great place to watch the weather outside. Last week, my mother-in-law posted a photo of her trimming a rosebush. In Louisiana, it's in the 60s and 70s right now. The same day, I took a photo of our last snow, hoping it would stick around at least a little while. To tell the truth, though, I think today I'd like to see a little sun. Maybe it is time to think once again about the earth waking up and shooting up a few daffodils and snowdrops.

     With less snow and precipitation this year, that means there is less snow pack to melt off slowly during spring and summer. We're running the risk of another terrible summer fire season. Man, I hate to think of a worse fire season than what we had last year- it was the worst on record in Washington state. The first two summers I was in Ellensburg, I had to stay indoors and take real precautions because of the smoke. It's super bad for my lungs and the first year I caught bronchitis from walking outdoors. Fortunately, this last round with it went away really quickly and I'm back at my usual activity level.

    Oh! I almost forgot: My New Years Resolutions.  I have made a grand effort to be more social this last month. We invited friends over to the house one Friday, invited other friends to watch the ill-fated Superbowl, AND we met another friend out at a restaurant. All in January.  Am I done for the year? As far as my health is concerned, I had some luck last month with my running.  I made five miles in less than an hour- twice. So a pace of 11:15. Not fantastic, and not terrible. I'm happy with it. I also did my mile in ten minutes a couple of times.  I have to do all my running indoors now, and I've added in weights and yoga twice weekly. It's running and walking that really help to clear my head. That's also my best strategy for beating off any winter blues which may come to call. Ok, that and Nutella. If you've never had Nutella, it's a hazelnut-chocolate spread. One of my friends calls it a jar of candy. I say it's not. It's quasi-healthy frosting. Maybe not the best stuff to eat before attending my sister-in-law's wedding in March (can't wait!) but it sure is delicious.

Sigh- so much sun

It's raining through the sunshine

Not sure what's going on with my face. Look at the handsome guy instead, k?

Little bit O'snow 

Our campus has an awesome diversity office!

Don't think I'll ever get tired of this view

See? I had people at my house!

My Seahawks lost! Boo! There's always next year.

How is this winter?!

Barge Hall- the first and original building on campus

Five thirty on a foggy morning

Eleanor

Onward

This has been an interesting couple of weeks.

It's been like the weather; a dump of snow, then a melt, then a bunch of sunny days and back to winter.

I love the view from the English department

There is something about Ponderosa Pine trees in the snow

I'm not so good at the phone phocus

Mmmm, winter!

This is my new "I Love Winter" necklace. 

Before Christmas, G went to the doctor because his voice was cutting out. He was snoring so loud I could hear him from downstairs. Sometimes, it felt like something was stuck in his throat.

When I say "he went to the doctor", I mean that he doesn't really do that unless he feels it's necessary. But he went. She sent him to a specialist, an otolaryngologist. He took a look; stuck a doohickey (sorry for the technical term) down his nose and took a peek. Said "that needs to come out."

Wait, what? What needs to come out? Huh?

Some sort of growth. A burst polyp.  You can get polyps in lots of place on your body. Colon, nose, throat, places like that. This one nestled on top of Gs vocal chords.

The Oto said this needs to come out now; G said "Let's wait until after Christmas".  He scheduled the surgery for the second week of January.

While Christmas was fun and traveling is exciting, I had a low-level worry the whole time. Like when you know there's a sliver stuck in your toe or something. Can't do anything about it but you always know it's there and try not to worry.

The surgery was really efficient. We arrived at the outpatient surgery center at 7; we left at 10. G had never had a surgery before. He said the hardest part was getting the IV put in. That man. The doctor told me that the polyp was larger than he thought and that in a week we'd know if it was malignant of benign.

Anyway, thus began three days of no talking and another week of low-level worry. I tried to teach him a little bit of sign language but G figured that I'm good at context clues and lip reading and that for the rest he could trace letters in the air or text me.  Sometimes this was hilarious and effective. Sometimes this was hilarious and frustrating.  Sometimes I just made up stuff he would never say, like "Don't you think it's time we bought a farm in the country", and "Seriously, can you make me a well-done steak?"

He lived. He ate popsicles.  He had to stay home for those three days and while I was at work, on the first damn day, he drove himself to McDonalds and wrote a note for a caramel frappe.  What the ham sandwich?!!

I went to his boss and explained that while he could be at work Thursday and Friday of last week, he couldn't talk. It wasn't a problem. When he went back to work, G reports that he used an entire pack of post-it notes answering questions.  They were not yes or not questions, apparently. And his boss doesn't exactly use email.

So on Dr. King's birthday (which I usually write about but this year I suck), we went back for the test results.

Benign.

But then the sun came out and it was 51 degrees.

<3 nbsp="" td="">

Confession: I don't have a "low" level setting for worrying. It's sort of my hobby and preoccupation. I like to pretend that I don't worry about things. However, once I set my mind to it, I can worry about just about anything.

Like Eleanor, the sweetest kitty and my best little friend of 18 years, who does have cancer.

I have a full blood panel done on her every 6 months. In May, all was clear. In November, it showed on the CBC.

I am sorry, readers. I just didn't know how to tell you.

She's doing ok, really. Doesn't eat very much. throws up more often. I give her medicine to stimulate her appetite and suppress the vomiting, though it will shorten her lifespan. This could take months or a year or just a few weeks.

When we went to Europe, she stayed with my friend Joy. Joy asked if I wanted to know during the trip if Eleanor died. Yes. Yes, of course I wanted to know that very instant. G was not in favor of this. But no, I couldn't have gone a day without worrying that this day it had happened and I didn't know.  It would have ruined the trip for me.  So Joy promised to tell me and sent me picture after picture of Eleanor, with her daughter, with her, eating, and sleeping on her heating pad. Yes, I sent the heating pad and that wonderful and afghan along to comfort her.  And I set up with my vet that if she needed any kitty health care, she would have it.

This is an exercise in not worrying for me. I don't know the source of the cancer and I'm not going to. I don't want to put her through a bunch of tests. It's not like she is healthy enough for them to remove a growth or even put her under anesthetic. And when the time comes, I'm going to see if the vet will come to the house to help her through those final, awful hours rather than taking her out of the comfort of home.

Until then, I am awakened every morning to what I term "aggressive snuggling".  Eleanor still gets around well and can navigate the stairs.  She sleeps on the bed and wakes me up by purring, then laying on the pillow with me and napping a bit.  Then she puts her face by mine.  Then I pet her. Then she nudges me with her head until I either keep petting her or get up to give her food and/or water. Personally, I think she's using cancer to get into more mischief and get away with it.  Now she'll sit beside me in the kitchen and head butt me until I feed her. She used to get squirted with water if she was a pest. Now I just can't. And somehow, she.knows.it.

I'm going to need you to feed me some tuna. By hand.

G is not buying it. Yes, he adores Eleanor. Yes, he will pet her all day and clean up vomit and make a run to the grocery store for me to get cans of the particular food that she's into (while ignoring the 90 other flavors in the pantry).  But when she's bad, she still gets a little squirt of water. I know this because when I told him about her condition, I proclaimed announced that from here on out, she wouldn't ever get into trouble again, he may have quietly chuffed. I didn't hear that part because emotions. But last week, I was petting the sweetest kitty in the world and telling her how awesome she is, and noticed her fur was wet. "Did you give Eleanor a drink?"
"In a sense."
"...?"
"She scratched on the bathroom door. She got squirted."
"But.....cancer!"
"She's well enough to be a bad cat; she's well enough to pay the consequences."
Heh.

But I'm still going to worry.

Wednesday (Friday) Hodgpoge

This week has been a little bit exhausting.  I thought I'd take yet another page out of Nonnie's blog-book and post a Friday version of the Wednesday hodgepodge. Just so you know, Nonnie is a friend of my sweet MIL and she took the Hodgepoge from "Joyce From This Side of The Pond "  So there you go.

Feel free to read and comment- and if you re-blog, just give credit to the original poster, Joyce.

1.  According to Oxford Dictionaries, the 2013 word of the year is 'selfie'. Your thoughts? When did you last take a selfie? Do you post them online somewhere? Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind the lens?

I take selfie's mostly to see if my makeup/hair/clothing looks ok.  It's my 21st century mirror.  I post them infrequently, but I do post them. Mostly on my Instagram.  I'm way more comfortable behind the camera, though I'm sure people get tired of my landscape/cat/handsome husband pictures. 

My sister and I last summer, out on the boat. I just noticed we have the same crookedness to our smiles! 

2.  Will you send out Christmas Cards this year? If so, are they ready to go? If not, are you glad or sad about leaving that tradition behind?

I hope to get my ducks in a row and send more Christmas cards this year.  My problem is that school gets cra-zzzy until the end of the term, then it's all over.  However, it's all over around December 19th.  Cum-see, cum-saw.  

3.  Do you trust easily?

That would be no. Not at all.  It's probably just my nature.  I didn't grow up with a whole lot of cushion and while I like to be trustworthy,  it's not something I bestow lightly.  That said, if I trust you, I trust you with everything.  Lots of people are trustworthy; some just aren't. 

4. Pine-cinnamon-peppermint-vanilla (as in sugar cookie)...of those listed, which one is your favorite December scent?

Pine. I love pine trees.  They're not just for Christmas in our neck of the woods! I remember these pine trees my grandpa planted when I was little.  My cousin Ryan was just a bit taller than the tree when she was 6.  They had to cut both of them down 25 years later because of the roots growing under the house.  The trees had grown to over 30 feet tall.

Pine trees AND G! 

Pine trees + sunshine

The top of the world

Meandering canyon

5.  Did you do more talking or more listening yesterday?  Was that by choice or by necessity?

I did a lot more listening than talking.  It was a non-teaching day yesterday.  It's almost always my choice to not talk overly much.  Talking too much to others makes me tired. Especially in groups.  Man, I must sound like an old grumpy lady, but I promise I do like people. Just not in groups. 

6.  What's the last song that got stuck in your head?  Sorry if it's back there now :  )

Something by MIA.  I love the Arabic sounds mixed with rap.  I'm not a rap fan; I'm an MIA fan. 

7.  Which world explorer (in the whole history of the world) would you most like to have traveled with, and why?

I think I'd like to travel with the Vikings.  I guess they ate pretty well.  For me, good travel is all about good food. 

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

It's been a rough week.  G and I just have a lot going on and some realities we don't like dealing with. I'm really glad it's Friday and we can spend the very windy and cold weekend snuggled in our little house.  Maybe we'll write out some Christmas cards or finish our Christmas shopping!  Tonight we're heading out to see a movie- Catching Fire.  Something you may not know about me: I was given a 35# recurve bow when I was 11 years old.  I used that thing for a long, long time, bruising the snot out of my left arm, shooting into hay bales and generally being wild.  I don't know what happened to it but it was a good part of my childhood.  Also, I'm glad I never had to enter a Hunger Games. :) If I did, I'd win. 

Wish It Would Snow

It's so hot. There are honey bees out pollinating things and that's cool. I guess. I like bees. They do important bee things, like make the world go 'round.

For that, sunshine is important. And heat and bright sunny days.

But man, I moved north because I get underboob sweat when I walk outdoors in Oklahoma from March-November. Sorry for crossing the too much information line, but it had to be said; nothing conveys feeling like discussing sweat in uncomfortable places. It runs over my ribs and hits my hip bones and generally bothers me.  That also means that I'm burning my pale skin and exposing myself to the sun's harmful rays.
Yes, that's really why I moved back to Washington state.  I was melting.  Now? I'm melting.

Yes, it's in the 90s every day right now. I hate it. Mostly I hate it because we don't have air conditioning in our house, much like every other person in this part of the state. We bought a little window unit for our bedroom, but Eleanor the kitty stays downstairs all day (I thought she was smart?) and ceiling fans and box fans only do so much.  The sweat is unimaginable, squirting from my armpits and dehydrating my poor body. On top of that, I'm working out twice a day because I'm training a person I work with and I'm doing my regular stuff with G at night.

So my life is about cold, fizzy hydration.  Thank goodness we have a Sodastream.

Rather than keep complaining about the big hot ball of gas in the sky, I'm going to remind myself of the things I love about winter.  Once March rolled around in Oklahoma, I'd start becoming anxious about the heat.  By May it would be 100 degrees outside in the afternoon and from June through September, it wouldn't get below 90 at night.  I'd say "I miss winter" and my friends would say "wait until winter, then you'll miss this".  But they were wrong.

I don't miss summer, ever. I love spring and I love fall best of all, but I'm not a summer girl.

So, some things I love about winter:

Vibrant Colors

Dormancy 

Warm houses on cold days!

Frozen Vistas

A reason to stay home and snuggle 

And everything moves at a slower pace. 

I can't wait! Oh, fall, get here fast. 

I guess in the meantime, I can settle for this: 

Oh Spring! Oh March!

March is both one of my favorite and least favorite months.

I love lots of things about March- the advent of Spring and the last of the winter snows.  I love those last snows a lot because I know they won't last long.  This year the spring snows didn't even stick. Two nights ago, we turned the faucets on to drip for the last time until Fall. 

Spring Break went well too.  My very nice husband accompanied me to the Olympic Peninsula where we visited my sister and her family and explored Port Townsend, Port Angeles and Sequim.  Yes, he finally decided after months of denial that there is indeed, a place called Sequim.  It's pronounced "Skwim", by the way.  One syllable.  Now, if I can just get Grey to stop calling it "Su-kwim", we'd be set. I got to see an old friend from elementary school that I haven't seen since the late 80s, and boy is a cool dude. He teaches history, specializing in the Bronze Age.  It used to be medieval history but I think he switched over a few years back.  He does some great stuff in the classroom. Stuf I'd like to see published.  He and Grey got to talking about comparisons between some biblical king and King Arthur and I just sat and smiled and took it all in.  Maybe next time we will get to meet his wife.

My quarter is going exceedingly well.  We are two days into the Spring quarter. I've got 4 classes on my plate and teach from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. It's gonna be a long ten weeks.  Scratch that, 9.5 weeks.  I'm starting to count down already.  I have 3 preps and two classes I haven't taught before. Yikes!

Other good things about March include the ability to wear open-toed shoes without freezing to death and digging out my Spring wardrobe. And it's an energetic month- the buds come out and crocuses bloom and pale legs get flased all over campus- and my exercise regemine is paying off so no more Winter weight.  Don't get me wrong, it serves a purpose, but now it's time to get moving!

Beware the Ides of March, says the soothsayer to Julius Caesar. Truer words have never been spoken.  March has always been a month of death.  I lost my grandma two years ago. Her birthday was on the 25th.   Her oldest sister - My Aunt Sis-  and my cousin were killed by a drunk driver in the last nineties during the month of March and I lost an ex-boyfriend to suicide that month too. Those were dark days.  It's difficult, at the tail end of winter, to clear thoughts from my mind as I look towards flowers and rain and sunshiny days. I can do it, it just takes time.

Fortunately, the sun IS shining. Little birdies are making more little birdies and I painted my toes a bright shade of purple.  Same color and same bottle that my sweet sister-in-law gave me on my wedding day.  Same sweet sister-in-law who just had a gorgeous baby girl last month.  Everyone is healthy and happy there, by the way.  There is so much hope in the world and so much to look forward to, that the weary blues won't last long. Three more days, I predict. 

Then bloom.

And here's a picture of my grandma. Because she is the best.

78 Degrees

So nice today! So beautiful.  I can hardly bring myself to stay inside and do the things I need to do.
I rode my little red scooter to work out and will go do a bit of yard work before starting on the inside of the house and running all of the little errands of death that eat my time.  Really, 78 degrees on January 29th? I cannot believe it.  Of course, it's supposed to snow either Sunday or Monday and go back to being winter.  But for now, I have to go, I have to play, I have to find a warm breeze to lift the hair from the nape of my neck....