Liberal

Yesterday, I took a group of 33 kids to the Oklahoma City Zoo.  I wrote a grant in September to take them and the Friends of the Zoo paid for the trip, including admission and the cost of the bus.

The kids didn't have to do anything special to get to go.  They were selected on the basis of their good attendance and lack of failing grades.  They averaged about a "B" on their report cards. They also didn't have any mark on their record regarding poor behavior.  It was truly a reward as they didn't know they were selected until we sent home the permission slips last week.

And what a delightful time! I took them as far around the zoo as I could in the time we had.  We took sack lunches from the cafeteria and ate in the courtyard.  The kids wandered in and out of the ice cream shop and the gift shop.  The zookeepers and attendants complimented them on their politeness.  Several bought small trinkets for their moms.

I just loved watching their faces as they petted animals and as we slid down the slides together.  Since I'm at the zoo frequently, I narrated the animals we encountered, citing the punishment of Prometheus when we came to the vultures and never even stopping to breathe in the reptile house because I talked so much.  Then we had an hour long program on how to train animals with the education department and a demonstration with a prehensile-tailed porcupine. Back at school, we wrote thank you notes and talked about our experience. I wonder if I wasn't the one who was impacted the most.  Most of my kids don't have insurance of any kind and some have a parent who has been deported.  None of the politics in American life are their fault. They are the ones left to deal with it.

After school, these kids will go back to their lives of working on the weekends- most have jobs or do child care for their parents- and of not always having enough to eat. I can tell though, that these kids are loved.  Poverty does not necessarily equal neglect and my students, my children, my kids yesterday were complimented by the director of education. She said that a different group of students had been through earlier (I won't mention which group, but they were from Edmond), and that she would without hesitation prefer to have our group back any day. And that we were welcome to do so.

A few weeks ago, I got into a discussion about politics with a conservative person. I love this person and ended up changing the subject to preserve the peace.  Yeah, that's how much I love my cousin.  I mean him.  I mean, this person.  :O I said that President Obama did me a favor when he put a cap on how much of my income could be taken by the student loan people.  He argued that when I signed the student loan papers, I knew what I was signing.  Actually, no, they do not give you that information when you sign the contract and most people aren't educated enough to research or discern that information prior to going to get their education.  Lenders take advantage of that fact at the outset.  But my uh, discussion partner differed, saying that in changing that law I was in fact hurting the economy.

So many others will get through college the same way I did.  If I didn't sign those student loan papers I would not have the skills or knowledge (or credentials) I have today.  In his mind, it's not an ass-raping, it's just good business.  But if people don't get student loans, they cannot go to college.  Fine, he said, then they don't go.  But I don't think he has thought that far down the line.  Those who cannot afford it are historically disenfranchised anyway and this would perpetuate the cycle.  He said I was a liberal and that I'd spend my life giving away other people's money.

Yesterday, I took 33 children with me.  The grant was only for 30, so I paid for the other 3 out of my own pocket.  The money I earn as a public school teacher in one of the poorest schools in the state.  I have no working technology in my classroom, save a chalkboard and white board.  I and my two English department colleagues are expected to save our school from being part of the state takeover which will occur if we don't get them passing scores on the end of year tests.  And for this I make less than $33k per year.  And I'll pay my student loans.  And I provide all of the things that the district does not. And I get to be a part a greater good, something bigger than myself. Yes, my salary comes from the taxpayers and I think it's money well spent since most of it goes right back where it came from.

You want a definition of liberal? That's liberal.

The First Days of School

Monday (yesterday) was my first day teaching in a public school.  Sunday night I had to grade papers for the online course I'm teaching.  The grades were due the next day and students were just turning in their final papers.  So I did that and got to bed around 1:30.  Got up at 6 a.m., not enough sleep for me. I'm a total zombie when I don't get enough zzzz's.  And I'm also a little bit cranky.  So I got up, got ready and went to work, arriving at 8:20.  It's a hike to the city and it also takes me awhile to wake up.  I immediately found my schedule and realized that not only am I teaching 7th grade, but 8th grade also.  It would have been nice if someone had noticed, let me know ahead of time or prepared me in any way.  

After having a mild freak-out attack, I scrambled to get together some materials with which to greet 8th graders rather than 7th grade.  Nothing.  Both of the Assistant Principals and the Principal are new.  They were busy anyway, running students like cattle through the scanners and sorting everyone into classrooms.  There was a lot of bustling and a little hustling.  I went to my classroom and had a mild freak out attack.  Seriously, who tells you that you're teaching one grade and then sticks you with two different classes with absolutely no preparation?  But there was little time for rumination as I had half an hour before I met my first class, which incidentally was eighth grade.  They were a quiet group and full of stony looks.  I watched them and asked them to do some writing.  Cancel that- I made them do some writing.  One of my students made insulting comments when she thought I couldn't hear.  They mumbled on their way out the door.  

My second hour class of 7th graders were just giddy by comparison.  They talked easily and didn't seem to mind the writing.  Nobody is overly excited about English but they are willing.  My other classes are about average- poor kids, lots of potential, just becoming full fledged teenagers. A few of my students are parents.  Yes, 13 and 14 year old kids.  I didn't register any shock.  After all, this is not the culture I'm accustomed to and I have no right to judge.  I have to get my bearings and look around, see what normal is.  See what kids these days do in this neighborhood.  One of my classes had 37 students registered into it.  Not all showed up, but we had to borrow chairs from the teacher next door.  In my last hour class, one of the kids farted loudly and others swore in Spanish.  I ignored the swearing and made the perpetrator sit still.  My overall first impression was that either the kids have to improve their attitudes or the administration needed to step up their game where newbie teachers were concerned.  Several on faculty noted that they had never had such a poor first day.  It made me less cranky to know I wasn't the only one.  As I was leaving, a co-worker handed me a copy of the curriculum that I would be teaching.  So at least I had some curricular materials. 

I went home and crashed at 7:30.  At night.  I have, to the best of my knowledge, never, ever done that.  I've awakened at 7:30 p.m., but never gone to bed at that hour. And I slept until 5:30 this morning, when I made my lesson plan and got ready for work.  

Today, Tuesday, was day two.  It was much better.  My first hour class decided not to do a group participation exercise so we did some writing instead.  Next time I ask for students to raise their hands, I expect there will be more people volunteering.  They talked today too.  My second hour class came up with their own glossary words, which was way ahead of the other classes.  My teacher heart did a happy dance since that was all their own idea.  They sometimes seem upset that I walk around and talk to them, instead of hanging out at my desk.  My butt only  hits that chair during lunch or plan period.  I had even more kids register into my large class- 40 according to my paperwork, though I am assured that ten were dropped.  I wonder then why we had to borrow more chairs.  I was assured that my class is back down to 30, though I find that number to be exceptionally large. I asked for that number to shrink.  "It will", came the answer.  I will wait and see.  At least two of my students do not speak enough English to be in my class but I will have to wait for them to be moved too.  In the meantime, since most of my students are bilingual, someone translates for them.  On the balance, today was much better than yesterday.  I met with my fellow English teachers to confer on our plans for this week.  I gave a little emotional support to other new teachers and hung out in the hallway with the kids between classes.  They are beginning to greet me back.  Someday soon, they may even crack a smile.  But don't get me wrong; I'm a hardcase as a teacher. Today I corrected the cursing in Spanish, thereby admitting that I knew what they were saying and prohibiting cross talk in a language they thought I didn't understand.  Ah well, we play the cards we are dealt. 

This inner city school is much different than a suburban or rural school. I still have to rely on my wits and problem solving skills.  And as early as I get there, there are dedicated teachers who arrive an hour before me and who stay later.  Many of my students write and read below grade level.  They don't know what to make of a teacher who uses big words and takes time to explain what those words mean.  Some look at me and see "outsider" and I look in at them and wonder how long it will take to change their minds. Some have behavioral disorders and others just cannot sit still for the life of them.  I know they are trying.  I know it takes something just for them to make it in the door in the morning.  Yet still I am keeping my standards high.  This will be a challenge.  I have to somehow raise test scores and still teach what children need to know.  They are children, too.  And for the most part, they are well behaved.  Not one has openly defied me, nor been disrespectful to my face.  All of my instructions have been followed, if only half-heartedly by some.  

Tomorrow is another day, and I am sleepy.  It takes a tremendous amount of energy to teach, run up and down stairs twenty times a day and find things to enjoy.  Because I will enjoy this.  I can feel it. I am going to get attached to the kid that I pulled aside and talked to today about keeping himself in check.  I later saw him in the principals office and stopped to offer him encouragement.  I think he needs that. I think I have something to offer here.  

Ah hell, I always wanted kids.