Comfort

I want comfort today. It rained last night and made me sleep really well. I love rain. I've loved rain since my days in the Pacific Northwest. I love the rain smell. It reminds me of simplicity and happiness and not having perfect hair or make up. I slid my feet into my slippers this morning for office hours and had eight students come see me for discussion of their papers. It was normal and relaxing.

I want comfort food. I made my favorite pesto and pasta for dinner. I had lemon tea with a friend. It's good to have a good friend to talk to; better than a snuggie or a warm fire. The only thing that could be better is if it were raining and there was a fire, some tea and a snuggie and good company like that. Yeah.

I want these things because Luke and I broke up a few weeks ago and I'm still sort of getting used to that idea. I mean, he hasn't left the house yet, but we've established our own spaces and routine over the last month and are taking time so that it's not overly traumatic.

Sound weird? I guess so. It's not a dramatic break up. I don't do drama anymore. In the grand scheme of things, drama lies pretty low at the end of the spectrum of things I'm willing to spend energy on. I like Luke. We get on well. I love his family~ they're all good people who have treated me very well. I'm going to to miss them and that part is painful. And the dog. Mia is so sweet. And so I'm not just mourning a relationship; I'm mourning the loss of several things simultaneously. I just hope they aren't angry with me.

It's a good reason for a break up though. His career and family are centered in Oklahoma City and my circumstances and interests lie outside of the area. Not much of a remedy for that. So we're calling it good without dragging things out. You hit a wall, you find a way around or turn and go in another direction.

So I've sought comfort in friends and solace in work and familiarity in routine. Eleanor has become much more affectionate. She keeps waking me up in the middle of the night, wanting attention. I've got scratches on my arms and one on the back of my neck. Silly cat. I know that anyone else would toss the kitty off the bed, but she really means well. She sleeps on the other pillow now too. And lately I want the things that are gentle and loving and bring me back to the here and now so I don't slip too deep into contemplation.

I don't often ask for anything from anybody. I've leaned on my girlfriends a lot lately to distract or to tell me things will be ok. Fact is that they will be ok. I'm alright being alone. I'm good at it. I need a roommate, so let me know if you think of anyone good. Or even ok, as long as they aren't slobs. :-)

I do have a question for my readers: what do you do for comfort? Do you cook, clean and read a good book or write maudlin poetry? Do you drink, party and get a pedicure? Tell me; I'd like to know.

Take care,
M