On The New Year

Hey there, friends. It seems that my little case of the sniffles has turned into a nasty case of bronchitis. Grey went with me to the doctor on Christmas eve and I got a steroid shot in my tuchus, a round of antibiotics and some sort of cough syrup that has a narcotic in it. The normal stuff with cideine in it is usually ok but this stuff that he gave me has a real wallop. I'm afraid to take it more than once a day because it knocks me out. I do have to admit that I felt better almost immediately. My doctor disapproves of where I work; there is posted mold and asbestos signs and he believes strongly that I should find another place to be.

Christmas passed in a lovely way. We exchanged gifts, made some really yummy alfredo - Grey and I are both vegetarians- and dropped off gifts to a couple of friends. One of the things I did for my family and a few friends this year was to buy bird houses and paint them according to what I think of the person receiving the house. I got the idea back in August when I was visiting my cousin Christian. He's a big outdoorsy sorta guy and he's talked an awful lot about buying a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. I imagine a log structure with a dark green roof, a red oval door with some quaint German designs around it and a few small touches here and there. A few weeks later I was in a craft store looking for stuff for my classroom and I saw the cabin I'd love for him to have. Only it was just a wood birdhouse in need of painting. Voila, my idea took hold. Each of my sisters and their families got one. Patti's family got one with a white sloped roof and yellow sides with little yellow flowers all around it. Mickie's family got a two story with hearts on it. My mom's has holly berry sprigs. My friend Cathy's was special- I dreamed up the Route 66 logo and painted roads all over the sides. Charlotte got a church steeple with big wild flower designs all over it. And for the Hargraves, a dojo with the symbol for home and flowering cherry tree limbs. They were a lot of fun to make and give.

But now that I'm feeling better, I also took myself off to the girlie doctor. A month or so ago I landed in the emergency room for what I would characterize as unlawful bleeding. I saw an ob-gyn today. I said "Hey, before we start, I need to know something. Are you an optimist, pessimist or realist?" Fair question, I think. I don't really want to be treated by an optimist or pessimist because these people have already made up their minds. It seems to me that someone who describes themselves as a realist might be willing to just see what is there, or not there and not try to interpret too much. She said that she is a realist and I was very glad. We talked extensively of my medial history and what's going on and she had a look under the hood. The news is as best as one might suspect. Sometimes women over 35 bleed when they are not supposed to and nobody really knows why. Yep, that was the answer. I probably do not have anything wrong with me at all. Of course, I'm doing follow up bloodwork tomorrow and an ultrasound in two weeks but overall, there are no discernable cysts or tumors and things appear to be cool. Of course, if I want to make the irrational bleeding stop, there are some treatment options. I'm not going to worry too much right now. If my body isn't sick then why would I treat it? I don't know, maybe I will have to think about it more later.

In the meantime, I have been thinking a lot lately about what direction I want my life to take this next year. I've just finished the greatest academic endeavor of my life. After 12 years of college, I have reached the end of the line. Therefore, some things will need to change and other things just have the opportunity to do so. Here then are my resolutions, or rather things I would like to accomplish in the next year.

1. Give great care to my relationships and grow into a better person because of those things. This may involve me seeking to change myself or just capitalizing on the neat relationships I already have in place. I think I will now have time to be a better friend and to deepen my friendships.

2. Get my financial house in order. I have student loans - and lots of them- coming due. I need to figure out how to live on what I make. I'd like to live on just the salary I make at the public school teaching job I have and save the extra money from my part time professor job for fun and travel. I'm not sure if that's possible, but I'm going to try.

3. Find a permanent place to be. By years end, I would like to be in a permanent place, probably a new city or state, in a professorship at a univeristy. This will involve selling my home. I'd like to finish the book I've started too.

4. Get my home in good shape and sell it.

5. Relax! I no longer have to rush from job to job to school. Now it's just one physical job and one online. I can now afford more time to relax, read, run, work out and get enough sleep. I want this to be there year when I concentrate on my home life. I think it will help my health as well. I'm going to pay special attention to my health this year.

I try to only make resolutions that I can keep. When I was a little girl, say around 1983 when I was 10, I resolved for New Years that year that I would always love strawberries. I'm proud to say that I still love them and that that particular resolution has held. One year I resolved to get into good enough shape to teach aerobics, and I ended that year as an aerobics instructor. There were resolutions to teach yoga, get my black belt in kempo karate and to run a half marathon. I met those as well. This years was to get my PhD. Done.

I haven't always met my goals. One year it was to fall in love, get married and have children. Another year I came close but didn't get to run a whole marathon. When I was 12 I resolved to adopt a palomino mare. Didn't happen. I still hope for those things, but the marathon might not happen. My knees have a lot of damage to them from running already. I might get to walk it though. The Oklahoma City Marathon means a lot to me and I'm not ready to give that one up just yet. The pony might have to wait too, so perhaps not all resolutions can come true in one year. Maybe not all resolutions come in the year you make them. Maybe they are not meant to.

I do know that my life is pretty lucky just the way it is. I have pretty good health and my family seems healthy too. Nobody is in jail right now. Grey, after a grand total of 3 months of dating, still seems perfectly wonderful. In fact, I like him even more now than the first day we met. I liked him then but now I know him better and I like him even more. My friends are likewise doing alright; if not making headway they seem to be holding steady.

Who knows, maybe inspiration will strike me again. Maybe I will paint more birdhouses or take up oil painting as I did in my youth. Maybe I will learn French or how to play the piano. Perhaps I need a sixth resolution: to remain open to possiblity. But maybe that shouldn't just be a resolution. Maybe that should be a guiding principal in life and love.

Happy New Years to you. Thank you for keeping up with my blog, for your continued support and for sometimes shaking the shit out of me when I need it. I can't wait to see what 2012 is going to bring us!

Love,
Mindie Antoinette Dieu